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 Post subject: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:44 am 
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Ok.. now somebody started this at thekill this thread forum.. son ow.. let's play..
It's simple, say something outstanding about Chuck Norris
like
Strlikecrazy wrote:
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.


or
Blink wrote:
If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.


So.. let's beggin!!

When Chuck Norris types on a forum ; mr green ; - :mrgreen: -. he posts his face

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:40 am 
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Chuck Norris thought that wasn't outstanding at all.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:56 am 
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Goodnight, Sweet Prince.
03/10/40 — 08/16/09

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I've won the 100k DD bet so many times, I should have the title "Mr. Luck"


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:29 pm 
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He's probably just visiting Bruce Lee. He'll be back.



btw, u serious with that?

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:03 pm 
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Personal fav's

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:39 pm 
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Chuck Norris doesnt die, Death gets Chuck Norrised.

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:43 pm 
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Chuck Norris has died many times death is just too scared to tell him

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:19 am 
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Strlikecrazy wrote:
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


Yeah then he did it again using imaginary(or complex(both are the same)) numbers.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:24 am 
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This is a scenario that just won't happen. (But it's one of my faves)


Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, and Arnold Swartzeneger all go to heaven on the same day. God offers them a seat next to Him if one of them gives Him a reason to give it to them.

Arnold says, "Well I was Mr. Universe several times in a row, so I should have the seat."

Then Steven gives God his reason. (I can't remember what it was sorry guys)

Then Chuck Norris steps up and says, "I believe you are in my seat."

Now Chuck Norris sits in God's seat using God as a footrest.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:05 pm 
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so.. in the end... Steven Seagal has the sit next to Carlos Ray???

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:55 pm 
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http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:45 pm 
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Chuck Norris taught his parents how to walk.

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:36 pm 
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:22 pm 
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Chuck Norris' bike had to learn how to let Chuck Norris ride it.

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:37 pm 
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nobody loved Raymon untill Chuck Norris said we should

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:05 am 
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When Man first went to the Moon, the American Government asked Chuck Norris to catch the space shuttle when it landed back to Earth.

The crew arrived back on Earth safely.

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:13 am 
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Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:01 am 
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Superman wears his Chuck Norris Pajamas when he goes to sleep.

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:04 pm 
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The only reason why Satan is still alive after we all voted for killin' him. is because Chuck Norris said he has to live

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:01 pm 
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MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:22 am 
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You know how kids check their beds and closets for monsters? Well, monsters check their beds and closets for Chuck Norris.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:34 am 
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:26 pm 
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What's under Chuck Norris' beard isn't a chin... it's a spare fist.

Chuck Norris can move so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:46 pm 
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The only thiing that can beat chuck norris is chuck norris

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:34 am 
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Actually bruce lee and a boat oar.... and (yes he's still alive) he hangs out on the weekends with elvis presley.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:36 am 
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Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi he's just not telling.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer the only problem is he never cries.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 1:53 pm 
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Death doesn't wants to take Chuck because she's afraid of his revenge

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:55 am 
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No one talks about Chuck Norris behind his back.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:09 pm 
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The last number of the Fibonacci sequence is the amount of power -in Joules- a roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris can deliver

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 6:31 am 
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, He waits.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:34 pm 
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Chuck Norris wanted to combine strip clubs and MMA, today we have women's pro wrestling.

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I remember one episode he said "Success comes in cans, not cants". What was the dog`s name again? Ah yes, Blink. That`s a good name.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 8:01 pm 
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Satan wrote:
Chuck Norris thought that wasn't outstanding at all.



Chuck Norris heard you he's going to kill you now...

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 8:08 pm 
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Nuh uh :/


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:54 pm 
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As I said before

Carygon Nijax wrote:
The only reason why Satan is still alive after we all voted for killin' him. is because Chuck Norris said he has to live

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 4:35 pm 
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oh : | whoops... :C

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 4:55 pm 
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Yous should know that Chuck Norris is a mercyfull men... as long as you don't bother him

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:29 am 
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I thought that was only his TV alter ego... is he like that in RL?


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 6:25 pm 
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when Chuck Norris says three times in front of a mirror "Bloody Mary", he gets a drink

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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 11:30 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris
PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 11:32 am 
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